(The photo that served as the inspiration for our drawings. I took this in the mid-90s while Dad was staying in a long-term care facility for his emphysema.)

Several days ago Mona said something about us getting together after work for a nice dinner Thursday.

What for, I wondered?

She seemed a little surprised.

It’s the anniversary of your father’s passing, she replied.

Oh yeah. I actually had forgotten.

The first year without my father was the hardest. I suffered through severe grief that plagued me so much a doctor suggested anti-depressants for a little while. I rejected that notion, instead choosing his suggestion to mark the first anniversary by doing something we both enjoyed together. So I went to a superb jazz show in Chicago with my best friends. And it worked. I turned the corner on my grief. So much so that by this sixth anniversary it just crept up on me and I didn’t anticipate it.

Still, Thursday was a really difficult day for both of us. Mona lost her father in 2005 and it was our shared grief that bound us together initially.

Wednesday, though, brought such a high for us. I got off work in time to get home for the sunset. We used to love regularly catching those, but our lives had gotten so much busier of late.

As soon as I got home, I hustled Mona away from her laptop and we dashed on down to one of the beaches near our house. We could hardly see the sun through the gray on this overcast day, but we stayed anyway. And sometime during our shared euphoria of the special moment I formally asked her to marry me. It wasn’t exactly a surprise. Almost since we started dating we’ve talked about marriage, and it has just increased in frequency.

Also, the Saturday before I had called my mother and her brother for their blessings. So those were the biggest steps. Still, it wasn’t really official. Even though Mona’s brother would call her mother to tell her, we still needed to meet with Mona’s mom to tell her in person. That would be the next important step.

But in between I felt like I had to, you know, ask Mona! And, of course, she said yes.

So after we got through Thursday it’s been a rising tide of relief and elation as all of our loved ones send us their blessings.

To think that before I met Mona I had given up on love and was growing more content with my bachelorhood. But I will save my story about how we met for another post soon. It’s one of my favorite stories about karma.

So on this Father’s Day, which was so sad for me six years ago as I made plans for my father’s funeral, the hardest part of the day was this morning when it occurred to Mona and I how much we would have loved having our fathers involved in our wedding plans. We both choked up a little, and then got our day started with a beautiful church service and later some drawing.

As we did last year when we both drew portraits of Mona’s father, this time we did sketches of my father. Hope you enjoy! And if your father is still with you, give him a huge hug for us, OK?

(Paul Raymond Anderson by Paul)

(Paul Raymond Anderson by Mona)

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