Joining the club
I wrote my column for Thursday’s paper on my first golf lesson, and in it I talk about how I used to argue with my old friend Brian Robin, who’s handling media for the Toshiba Classic tournament this week, about whether golf is a sport or a game.
I didn’t get in as much detail as I could have about those endless tussles on Sunday afternoons when we worked for the local news section of the Times that covered the Inland Valley. I worked out of the Ontario office from near the end of 2000 through early 2004. It started out as one of the “Our Times” sections that covered local news and was inserted into the Times for subscribers. When the Tribune bought the company and shut down the “Our Times” sections the executives decided to spare the Inland Valley section, which was considered a bigger operation and crucial to a strategy to boost circulation in what was then a rapidly growing part of California. Later, it became known as the Inland Valley Voice.
Anyway, Brian was the sportswriter on Sundays and I was the city editor. We both love sports so we often chatted away about whatever was in season. I recall one of the favorite topics with me and the sports department was the baseball Hall of Fame — who belongs and who doesn’t. But nothing could wind up BR more than when I’d diss golf. “It’s just a game, not a sport.”
Now, you have to understand something about Brian. It’s always worth playing devil’s advocate with him because he’ll get all caffeinated and work himself into a Lewis-Black-type comedic rage. On golf, though, I was pretty much sincere. I had no respect for the game. I suppose I never got into it because I found it to be a major bore on TV. And that’s coming from a lifelong baseball fan who thrills to a 20-pitch at-bat.
As is usually the case this time of the year, I reach out to Brian to brainstorm some feature stories for Toshiba. The sports guys ably cover the competitive part of the tourney and then some, but on the news side we look for other related features. You can’t cover Toshiba enough. One of the kookier ideas we came up with was for me to write about a lesson with Newport Beach Country Club pro Paul Hahn. He’s worked there for 20 years and he’s an all-around nice guy so we figured if he had the time to waste on a goof like me then we could have the makings for a decent column.
Turns out, he was. By the way, in Friday’s paper keep an eye out for my e-mailed Q and A interview with Hahn for our shopping page.
I called Hahn on Tuesday and I was so clueless I asked him, “What do I wear?” Khakis, sneakers and a polo shirt will do. “No T-shirt?” I can picture him almost dropping the phone at that point as his tongue settled in between his teeth. I guess my Nirvana T-shirt with all that profanity on the back is out then.
“No, you want to wear some kind of shirt with buttons,” he said patiently.
OK, so I thought I might have a polo shirt somewhere. I wasn’t sure. No way did I want to have to go to Target and buy one. When am I going to wear that again? Good news, after digging around in my closet I found it. A blue polo shirt with the Los Angeles Times logo on it and “Inland Empire San Gabriel Valley Region” stitched under it. When did I get this, I wondered. I have no idea where or when or what the occasion was when I got this, but I’m sure I didn’t part with any money to get it.
I drove down to the country club and met Hahn. As he went to get a clubs for us to work with I asked him if he had received the e-mailed questions and he said he had.
“Sorry if some of the questions seem a bit off-base. I like to keep it irreverent and a little funny.”
He nodded. And that’s when he surprised me a little. “Who’s Carl Spackler, by the way?”
Oh man, I thought. How can you play golf for decades and not know that?
“Bill Murray from ‘Caddyshack,'” I replied. “You don’t have to answer that one if you don’t want to.”
Hahn’s such a good sport, though. He just sent me his replies and he answered it.
Anyway, I explain in my column that golf is a lot more complicated and fun than I thought. I was debating whether to take some lessons and see if I could get to be a decent-enough golfer. Hahn said about three months of lessons and practice three times a week could bring me up to competence. Not bad, I thought, for someone who has never played before.
When I got back to the office I called Brian and told him maybe I was wrong. He seemed a bit stunned at first, but maybe he was just busy. He reiterated how difficult it is to play golf and then we had a few laughs about the old days with those newsroom smackdowns. Not surprisingly, he gets the same razzing at the PR firm where he works now. Just like when we worked together there’s a squad of BR imitators.
“At this point I do the fourth or fifth best BR impersonation in the office,” Brian said.
Back when we worked together, Brian’s supervisor, sports editor Kevin Whaley used to keep the Brian Robin “gloss” (short for glossary). Guess what? One of our mutual friends sent that out and they got it at BR’s current employer. “They thought they had hit the motherlode,” Brian said.
Too funny. Those were some good times and we did a lot of great work together with Brian pulling down a lot of first-place awards in newspaper contests. He’s incredibly talented and I’m honored to call him a friend.
I have the gloss still. I’m proud to have been dubbed “Generalissimo” by BR for yelling at him to get his gamers in when he was covering Quakes games.
what have you got against polo shirts? i’m wearing one right this minute. and it’s from target too. suddenly i feel like this giant dork. thank you for that…
I like how you elaborated on your column by doing this follow up piece.
Don’t worry about the polo shirts, nowadays some are made with an edge and character. Hence the one I own with a Skull & Crossbones logo.
You could have tucked the polo shirt in. When was the last time you saw Tiger Woods walking around the course with his shirt tail hanging out?